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As an Internet Dating Coach, I regularly review Online Personal Ads to see how men and women are promoting themselves. Often the ads are written so poorly, that it's no wonder why many people fail to attract the types of partners they're asking for. Men often write in a matter-of-fact manner - which is absolutely not the way to communicate with women! And the women's ads often come across as demanding - producing poor results - which ends up reinforcing their views that "all of the good men are taken." Take for example this ad, written by a 41-year-old woman -- professional who enjoys open conversation - 41 "I love to talk about books that have struck you bizarre or interesting. I do want someone to hang out with, and must enjoy talking about politics, books, places and wine. Must love chocolate!" Communication is apparently high up on this woman's priority list (how nice!) Whether "talking about everything" is also nice would depend, I suppose, on what "everything" might include. It's hard to say what she's referring to when she talks about "bizarre" books, although Stephen King novels come to mind for me. I'm not sure how many guys love chocolate, but for the sake of maintaining positive relationships, I imagine a lot of guys would go along with that one - assuming, of course, that "bizarre" books don't stand in the way first! It's hard to imagine what sort of guy she'll attract with that ad! Or check out this Internet Dating ad from a 29-year-old man who calls himself the Tattoo Teddy Bear: tattoo teddy bear - 29 "i just want a good girl that knows how to treat a man with respect." This online dating ad gets right to the point, doesn't it. So is it any wonder that so many single men and women are just like "two ships passing in the night?" Which brings me to our first lesson of today: Always write your Online Dating ads like you're having a normal conversation with someone! In other words, here's what NOT to do: 1. Never write an online dating ad like you'd write an advertisement for a newspaper. 2. Never condescend to your audience! 3. Never write a short (one or two sentence) ad. You just can't say enough in a short ad to really "sell" yourself properly! Here's what you SHOULD do: 1. In your online dating ads, talk about yourself in such a way as to create an image of yourself as a real person in the mind of your reader. You might want to include some of your personal interests and hobbies - and what you enjoy doing on a date. 2. Give your reader a sense of how they will feel when you two are together on a date. Put yourself in the shoes of your reader. Be empathic, be sensitive to their needs, and try to anticipate what they might be thinking and feeling while reading your online personal ad. 3. Mention some of your best inner qualities to motivate your readers to respond to your ad! 4. What are some of the reasons (i.e., the benefits) for answering your ad today? What will she or he gain by doing so? 5. Don't forget to spell-check your ad before you submit it! By creating an honest and empathic dialog with your reader when writing your online personal ads, you'll be way ahead of most of your competitors for the attention of the women - or men - you'd like to hear from the most!
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